


You're The Only Hope For Me

by SeraphStarshine



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Character Death, Prostitution, Suicide, Top Frank Iero, be careful loves, mention of past self harm, potentially triggering material
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeraphStarshine/pseuds/SeraphStarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the last night of Frank's life, he decides to hire a prostitute who looks eerily similar to his long lost boyfriend Gerard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're The Only Hope For Me

Today was the day...I was really going to do it. I had everything ready, the bottle of sleeping pills sat innocently in my bedside table drawer, waiting for the perfect time. There was just one more thing to take care of first, and then Frank Iero would cease to exist. No one would even notice that I was gone.

I didn't have any grandiose reason for wanting to kill myself, no inescapable tragedy or anything like that. I was just so tired of being numb, I hadn't felt anything for years, so I was basically a dead man walking anyway, all I was doing was finishing what the world had started.

I had a shitty job, shitty apartment, shitty everything. Each day was the same pathetic cycle: work, get so drunk I couldn't see straight, then sleep. My parents had basically cut me loose when I was eighteen, and I didn't blame them. I had never been a perfect son, and I turned into a shell of my former self when Gerard was taken away from me...

Gerard. Just thinking his name brought all the memories flooding back. He was my first love, hell - he was my only love, and now I would never see him again. We had been best friends since childhood, and the day he told me he loved me was the happiest memory I possessed. Gerard had brightened up every aspect of my life, and now that he was gone, everything was stained a dull lifeless grey.

I thought we were going to be together forever...

Then one day his homophobic parents caught us kissing in his room, and that was the beginning of the end. Within a week, they had packed up their belongings and taken Gerard far away from me...I never found out where.

I had searched for ages for any hint or sign of him, but I had finally given up after hitting hundreds of dead ends. I had even moved to New York on the off chance that he would be here, he always said he wanted to settle down in the Big Apple after he graduated and become an artist. I never found him of course, New York is fucking huge, and I was searching for a needle in a hay stack.

I had finally lost all hope of ever seeing him again, so what was the point in living any longer? There was just one more thing I wanted to do before the end...lose my virginity. Yep - I was a twenty-two year old virgin (Gerard and I had been waiting for the perfect moment, and he was torn away from me before it came) and I definitely didn't want to die one.

So I did what any rational man would do, and contacted a pimp about sending me up a pretty boy to spend the night with me before my eyes closed forever. I had asked for a dark haired one a few years older than me (because if I was going to fuck someone, I wanted as close as I could get to Gerard, and a look alike would have to do). The pimp had told me he was fresh out of black haired boys, but he did have a red head that might suit my tastes. I always thought Gerard would look amazing with red hair, so I agreed, and told him to send the boy to my room around midnight.

A gentle knock on the door broke me out of my thoughts, and I stood up on shaky knees to answer it. Even though I wanted to do this, I felt awkward now that he was actually here. With a stubborn tug, I yanked the door open and eyed the prostitute up and down.

He was gorgeous, that was for sure, in a sad beaten down way. His lanky red hair obscured most of his face, and I marveled at how bright it was. He actually did look similar to Gerard in a manner of speaking. He was much thinner, but he had the same slender fingered artist hands, and I knew I wouldn't have any difficulty pretending he was my long lost love.

"Um - can I come in?" he asked in a low voice. I blushed with embarrassment when I realized I had been staring at him for a full minute without saying anything.

"Yeah sorry." I pulled the door open wider and gestured for him to come inside.

I winced when I realized what a dismal state my apartment was in, but he never lifted his eyes from the ground, so I doubted he noticed. Not that he probably would have cared, I am sure he had seen way worse.

"So what's your name?" I fished for a conversation starter as I led him to the bedroom.

"Does it matter?"

"I'm just curious that's all."

"It's James..." His breath caught in his throat, and I assumed he didn't like giving out his name to clients.

"I'm Anthony," I replied.

For some reason, I didn't want him knowing my first name, which was really stupid, but I felt more comfortable hiding behind my middle name instead.

"Nice name," he smirked, and his resemblance to Gerard in that moment became uncanny.

We had reached the bedroom by now, and I seriously had no idea what to do next.

"So you know you still have to pay me even if we sit here talking all night right?"

"Hey give me a break, I have never done this before," I chuckled.

James opened and closed his mouth like he was going to say something, but then he changed his mind at the last minute.

"Well lucky for you, I have enough experience for both of us. Just one rule before we start...I don't kiss on the lips. Anything else is fair game."

"Why don't you?" I asked curiously.

"I have my reasons." James' lips were pressed together tightly as if to protect them from me. As much as I wanted to kiss him, I would respect his wishes.

"Okay - works for me." James nodded once and then seductively pushed me down onto the bed, kissing his way down my neck hungrily. "Do you want to bottom or top?" he whispered in my ear before licking the sensitive shell, causing me to shiver in anticipation.

"Top."

"Okay - well let me just get you warmed up then." Grasping the hem of my shirt, James pulled it over my head and threw it in the corner. I blushed slightly when he paused to gaze down at my tattooed skin.

"I like these," he muttered before lowering his mouth to my chest.

Nipping and sucking down my inked body, he lavished me with his tongue, and I let out a loud moan. I felt him smirk against me, and I could tell he was enjoying this too, at least a little bit.

He bit down teasingly on my hip, and they bucked upwards of their own accord. His hands that reminded me so much of Gerard's began to undo the button of my jeans, and within seconds, I was clad only in my boxers. He licked underneath the waistband slowly, and I groaned in pleasure.

Finally he inched my final layer down my legs, and my engorged cock sprang free from its confinement. Humming in appreciation, James swiped his talented tongue from my base to my tip before sucking just the head into his mouth.

" _Oh fuck_..." I gasped out.

My whole body was on fire, and my breath came in sharp pants. It was so easy to pretend that this random stranger was Gerard, and I lost myself in the image. I imagined that he truly wanted me - only me, and that he wasn't some poor man who gets fucked by a different guy every night. In my mind, he was my boyfriend, and for the first time, we were going to express our love through sex.

He wrapped his delicate fingers around my shaft, and I thrust into his fist, desperate for more friction. He continued to rub his tongue around my head and into my slit while he pumped up and down with his hand.

I could feel his own growing erection against my leg, which turned me on even more. It felt so amazing to have someone touch me this way, even if it was just a prostitute, and not someone I loved. Still - this was the first time in years that I had felt anything, and I was definitely enjoying it.

My hips rocked in time with his hand movements, and my moans increased when he picked up the pace. Just when I felt the familiar tightening sensation in my groin that meant I was close, he released my aching cock from his grasp. I whimpered pathetically at his withdrawal, causing him to give me that adorable smirk again.

"Calm down baby - you will get to come in a second. Just let me get myself ready."

He pulled a tube of lube out of somewhere and removed his clothing. I drank in the sight of him eagerly. He was stunning, there was no doubt about that, but the longer I looked, the more I noticed the toll this life had taken on him.

He was unnaturally thin, his ribs stuck out so far when he pulled his shirt over his head that I could count them. His body was littered with bruises, some fading and some fresh, and I wondered how many had been caused by his clients.

When he joined me on the bed again, I noticed silver scars crisscrossing his inner arms and thighs...most of them were faint, but at some point in his life, this beautiful man had suffered greatly.

"Hey - you okay?" James looked at me with a questioning expression, and for the first time all night, I got a good look at his eyes...they were hazel - just like Gerard's, only James' were duller and lacking the sparkle Gerard's always had dancing beneath the surface.

"Yeah - I'm fine, sorry..." I shook my head to clear it of my thoughts of pity. Sure I felt bad for him, but in a few hours, I would be dead, so I might as well enjoy myself while I could. There was nothing I could do for this tortured soul anyway.

"You are definitely not what I expected," he mused as he lubed up two of his fingers.

Trying to get myself back in the mood instead of thinking about all the terrible things James must have endured, I moved closer to him and began kissing his neck gently. I nipped down where his shoulder met his throat, and he released a strangled groan.

Encouraged by his sounds of pleasure, I sucked down hard, and he flung his head back, giving me better access to his sensitive spot. I felt him shift beneath me, and I watched in fascination as he inserted a finger into his own entrance and began moving it back and forth.

For some reason, seeing him ready himself for me was a major turn on, and I grew impossibly hard. James began panting as he ground down on his own hand, and I wanted to add to his pleasure.

Tentatively - I reached in between his legs and clutched his cock with one of my hands. Copying the motions he had used on me, I pumped up and down, slowly at first, but I increased my pace when his breathing grew labored and his eyes became glassy.

He was using two fingers on himself now, and I swear - I was about to come watching him. James grabbed my shoulder to stabilize himself, and his nails dug into my skin roughly.

" _Agh_ \- okay, I'm ready," he gasped, and I removed my hand from his cock.

He handed me a condom and I rolled it over my dick eagerly. James positioned himself onto his knees, presenting his bare ass to me trustingly. My nerves reared back up, I had never done this before, and I didn't want to hurt him...but I was desperate to be inside him, so I shoved my worries back down. Making sure I took it slow, I aligned my cock with his entrance and gently nudged the head inside.

"Just tell me if I hurt you okay?" I gritted out as I sank a little deeper into his tight heat.

James didn't reply with words, he just moaned as I push in all the way to the base. Dragging myself out carefully, I inched my way back inside him, marveling at the feeling of being encased in his tight ass.

"Harder please... _ohhh_..." James begged, and my insecurities evaporated.

Even though this was probably just an act he put on for all of his clients, my hormones had taken over, and the sounds he was making were only egging me on. I gave him what he wanted, snapping my hips so with each thrust, I sank impossibly deep inside him. James buried his face in my pillow to try and muffle his screams of ecstasy as he pressed himself back against my cock, taking every inch of me he could possibly get.

Heat pooled in my belly, and I knew I was going to come soon, but I wanted to take James over with me. Reaching around him, I encircled his cock and began pumping him in time with my thrusts. James arched his back, and when I plunged into him again, he yelped in pleasure, and I knew I had found his prostate.

"Fuck - do that again... _oh fuck me_..." Hitting the same spot over and over again, I felt James tighten around my cock, and then he began spilling his load all over my hand. I was only seconds behind him, letting out my own lust filled groan. The orgasm tore through my entire body, and I laced my free hand through his to steady myself.

I collapsed next to James on the bed, panting heavily as I came down from my metaphorical high. Our hands were still connected, and I glanced down at them shyly.

James had a simple band on his ring finger, and it felt cool against my flushed skin. It seemed odd that a prostitute would wear a ring, but I was not one to judge. I brought his palm up to my lips to press a kiss to it when I saw a simple engraving encircling the ring.

_Can I be the only hope for you?_

With shaking hands, I raised our conjoined fingers so he could see my identical band which held the rest of the words.

_Because you're the only hope for me_

"Gerard...?" I choked out brokenly.

It couldn't be anyone else. We had those bands made on Gerard's sixteenth birthday so we would never forget how much we meant to each other.

"Frank...is it really you?"

He pushed my sweaty hair back from my forehead with shaking fingers, examining my face eagerly. How could I have not seen it before? I felt like such an idiot, but I had been trying so hard to pretend that I was with Gerard, I had written off all the obvious signs as figments of my imagination.

Furthermore - Gerard had changed so much since I had last seen him besides the obvious hair color difference. He had lost an insane amount of weight, and all the happiness had been leeched from him. Even his voice was different, instead of the beautiful timbre that I remembered, it had transformed into a lower, harsher variation of the melodic tone that used to sing me to sleep every night.

He was a broken version of the man I knew all those years ago, and I wasn't sure if I looked much better. I had grown my hair out long and stopped bothering to dye it, so it was its natural brown color instead of the black and blond style I had sported when we had been together. I hadn't had any tattoos back then either, and I had put on weight instead of losing it.

"How...what?" I couldn't form a coherent sentence, so I just pulled my long lost love into my arms and held him as he sobbed brokenly. When his tears faded into soft hiccups, I gently tipped his chin up to face me.

"What happened to you baby?" How did the gorgeous talented man I had known turn into a prostitute in a few short years?

"I don't know..." he whimpered tiredly. "It was just one thing after another...first - I lost you...and then...and then..." He began crying bitterly again, and I rocked him back and forth in an attempt to soothe him.

"Shush - it's okay, I'm here."

"Mikey's dead Frank...he got hit by a drunk driver...I was in the car, and I couldn't save him. My little brother is gone forever..."

"Oh god Gerard, I am so sorry." I clutched him tightly to my chest as my own tears began to fall. I had loved Mikey like a little brother...I couldn't believe he was really dead.

"After the accident, I completely lost myself..." The story was pouring out of Gerard like water gushing out of a broken dam. "I didn't want to live without Mikey. I tried to kill myself, and I ended up in the hospital for months. My parents wanted to send me to a mental institution, but I realized the only way I could ever be happy again was if I found you. So I ran away...I made it all the way back to Jersey on my own, but when I got there, you were gone. Ray told me you had moved to New York looking for me, so I came here. I couldn't find you though...I was broke, and lonely, and desperate, and somehow I ended up like this."

I stroked his hair as he shook in my arms...I couldn't believe it. Gerard came looking for me too. We might have just missed each other. If I hadn't gone searching for him, he may have found me before any of this ever happened.

Guilt welled in my stomach, and I choked back my own tears. I couldn't even begin to imagine the horrendous life Gerard had been living all these years. I didn't care though, he would always be perfect to me, no matter what. The past wasn't important, all that mattered now was that we were finally together again.

"But even though I became this dirty whore, I never let anyone kiss me," Gerard continued. "You were the first and last person to ever touch these lips, and I made sure it stayed that way. Even when my clients beat me, or tried to force me, it never happened...not once. It was the only way I could stay faithful to your memory. I swore I would never let myself be kissed again until I found you."

"You found me babe...and I swear - I will never let you go again."

I pressed a chaste kiss to his perfect lips and thanked God - or whatever crazy fate that had finally brought us together again. The bottle of pills lay forgotten in my drawer, and that was where they were going to stay.


End file.
